Cycle
by kuristina
Summary: Despite the yelling, curses, infidelity, insecurity, jealousy, blows, and obvious chaos they remain perfect together. Sasunaru, abuse


**A/N:** Got this idea from some Rihanna songs I listened to. Mainly from _Love the Way You Lie (Part II)_ & also _We Found Love_. Rewritten 7/30/14

**DISCLAIMER:** characters from Kishimoto

**WARNINGS:** language, abuse, infidelity, slight mention of rape

* * *

><p>"<em>Tell me how much you want me."<em>

"…"

"_Come on, you've gotten this far. Just tell me how much."_

"…"

_A blonde haired man rolled his eyes at the other man's silence. Just a minute ago he was declaring how much he had wanted him to be his. Now his lips were shut tight. He scooted over to the man and put a hand on his thigh, slowly rubbing it up and down. "Just rate on a scale of one to ten. One being the lowest and ten being the highest; how much do you want me?"_

_Again, the man didn't dare respond._

"_Teme." He growled. "Uchiha Sasuke if you don't want me then I'm going to walk away in five seconds! One-" Naruto had started his countdown but was interrupted when his face was pulled forward in a kiss. But he didn't dare fight it. He leaned into the kiss instead and let one of his hands grasp the jacket the man wore. He pulled away and smiled. "One to ten, rate it."_

_The dark haired man, Uchiha Sasuke, rolled his eyes but answered anyway. "I want you eleven. You dumbass."_

"_Above the scale huh?" Naruto tapped the bottom of his chin, a playful smile on his face. "How do I know you mean it? You willing to prove that you can score that high?"_

_Sasuke sneered. "I'm an Uchiha, we excel at everything."_

"_Right right." The blonde man looked up at the blue sky and inhaled slowly. His eyes were closed and he let a smile slowly grow on his face. "Ask me out officially teme. And don't forget to add, 'pretty please with sugar on top.'"_

_Once again, the other man rolled his eyes. "That's fucking stupid."_

"_There's no one around. No need to be embarrassed. Just a few words and we can start this."_

_Sasuke sighed but he would play to the dobe's stupid level. He leaned forward to whisper in the blonde's ear, "Uzumaki Naruto, I want you to be on my bed, bent over a table for me, and for you to be mine." He paused before adding the ridiculous phrase. "Pretty please with sugar on top."_

_Naruto opened both his eyes and looked at Sasuke with a big smile on his face. He let one of his hands intertwine with the Uchiha's own. "I guess I'll settle for that Sasuke."_

"_Hn. Naruto…"_

* * *

><p>"Naruto!"<p>

"Fuck off Sasuke!"

"Don't you get near that damn door! Naruto!"

Sasuke growled when he saw his lover just flip him off and continue walking towards the front door. He clenched his fist but tried to get himself to calm down. He needed to remember that screaming at each other just makes the dobe walk out. But damn, he hadn't learned his lesson yet had he? This situation repeated over and over again for different reasons. And yet in almost none of them had Naruto chosen to stay when he told him not to go out.

He grabbed the blonde's wrist and roughly pulled him away from the front door. "I told you not to go out dobe!"

Naruto pulled his hand away and glared at him. "Don't tell me what to do asshole! I'm getting out of here for the night so don't bother fucking waiting up for me!"

"I give a fuck about where you're going, who you're with, and when you'll be back!"

"Oh so you wanna know, don't you bastard?" Naruto shouted. "I'm going to find me a cheap ass hotel, find some random trash to bang, and we'll just fuck the night away! That's what I'm going to do!" the blonde turned away and made to reach for the door but was once again pulled away by it. "Will you just let me go already? I'll be back in the fucking morning!"

Sasuke had grit his teeth and his grip on Naruto's hand had tightened. "That was one fucking time! Stop throwing that in my face!"

"That was _one time out of the other four_!"

"Don't act like you haven't cheated on me too Naruto!"

"You started it!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Not sorry enough to stop!"

"Just-Just don't go dammit! Don't walk out on me!"

Naruto's body tensed at those last few words. But he yanked his hand away and quickly walked out of the front door, making sure to slam it as hard as he could.

Sasuke only helplessly listened as he heard Naruto's car start up and then drive away. He sat on the stairs and then gripped his hair. He let out a frustrated shout and cursed at his lover. He lifted his head and looked around him. He knocked over the nearby vase but it did nothing for him. He was still angry and ashamed that he had failed to make Naruto not walk out the door.

"Fucking again…" he muttered.

But the dobe would be back.

And he would wait up for him.

…

The door unlocked and Sasuke could hear someone stumbling into his home. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the time on the stove. He downed his drink and quickly went to the front door.

Almost one in the morning.

Naruto had come earlier than he expected.

The blonde was crawling on all fours towards the stairs, groaning and whining. He pushed himself onto his feet and shakily tried to walk on his own. But he tripped and was ready to meet the ground. But instead of feeling the cold floor, he was wrapped in warm arms. Naruto looked up to see that Sasuke had caught him. He mumbled something to him but he knew he wasn't comprehensible at the moment.

Carefully Sasuke lifted Naruto up in his arms, not surprised that his lover reeked of alcohol.

But it's not as if he couldn't blame him.

He had his own share of drinks for the night.

Sasuke took off the blonde's clothing and made sure to adjust him on the bed. If the dobe threw up sometime during the night and if he were in the wrong position, he would drown in his own vomit. So he took special care to make sure that he placed his lover in a good position and he placed a trashcan nearby.

Of all the drunks Naruto had to be, it was a quiet drunk.

The loud mouthed idiot got quiet with just enough alcohol in his system. He would look all around him looking completely lost or confused and then try to rest his head against something. Blue eyes would stare off distantly or have this look of contemplation.

Sasuke had sex with a drunk Naruto once.

It wasn't satisfying.

Naruto had held in all his noises and refused to look him in the eye. And after the disappointing climax, Sasuke had attempted to spoon him but was pushed away.

"Where's the car dobe?" he asked. If there was anything he taught Naruto, it was that he would rather the dobe take the bus home drunk than try to drive home drunk.

"… arking… lot…" the blonde said before finally passing out.

Sasuke nodded his head; he would get the back in the morning. He slipped himself under the covers and let his own eyes rest.

* * *

><p>Naruto was tired. His eyes begged to be hidden away by his lids and just get some damn rest. They were growing tired and winning the battle. But he refused to give in, he refused to sleep. He would stay up.<p>

He would stay up until Sasuke got home and then he would be able to sleep.

He needed to know that the bastard came home after a long day of work and didn't leave him.

That he didn't leave him despite all the shit they threw at each other.

If it meant to lose an entire night's sleep to wait for his lover to come home then so be it. Just as long as he came back home.

But it was nearing three in the morning and Naruto was not the kind of person to just stay up and expect the tv in the bedroom to keep him awake. But his body begged for rest, demanded that he shut his eyes and go to sleep already. But still he fought off the fatigue.

No sleep yet; not until Sasuke walked through that front door.

He groped the bed for the remote, trying to find the damn thing to change the channel. Nothing but fucking infomercials on at this time of night. The channel flipped to a random movie playing and he turned up the volume just a little bit.

Anything to help him stay up just a little bit longer.

Porn could be playing for all he cared.

Then he heard the garage open from downstairs. Immediately he shut off the tv and threw the remote somewhere in the room and threw himself underneath the covers. Sasuke got pissed when Naruto would stay up too late. But he also knew that he was restless until the Uchiha came home.

He didn't feel at ease until Sasuke stepped foot inside their home.

The door to their bedroom creaked open and he heard his lover walk inside. He heard him curse for a moment but then he walked up to the side of the bed. A deep, smooth but tired voice spoke to him, "I know you're still awake idiot. You don't sleep unless I'm here."

Sasuke knew him too well.

But he could sleep now.

Naruto got out from under the covers and turned on the nearby lamp. His eyes squinted at how bright it was but blinked his eyes to adjust. He watched Sasuke strip himself of his suit and then moved over to let him slide in the bed. "Kept it warm for you."

Sasuke got under the covers, shut off the lamp, and pulled Naruto against him.

The both of them felt relief being so close to each other again.

"Stop staying up so late for me. I'll always come back." Sasuke mumbled.

"I want to, just in case." Naruto responded.

"Hn. You don't think I'll come back one day?"

"It's always a possibility."

Sasuke huffed. "You're always the one stomping out the door when we have an argument. I'm the one that should be worried if you don't come back."

"You work late and you have a ridiculous amount of sex appeal. You're a walking temptation and anyone could try to seduce you if they wanted to. You could be getting laid by some other person that's not me."

"Don't you think that while I'm at work you're off cheating on me too?" Sasuke shot back. "You have no idea the amount of men look at your ass when you walk around. You're a walking temptation also."

Naruto pushed himself up on his elbows and kissed Sasuke, his hand rubbing gently against the man's chest. His hand rested on top of where his lover's heart was and he felt the steady heartbeat against his palm. "I'm fucking loyal to you asshole."

Sasuke pulled Naruto's body so that he was resting directly on top of him. The blonde tucked his head right under his chin and he felt his entire body relax with the weight on top of him. He kissed the top of the blonde head and let his hand rest on the blonde's back. "Loyal huh? Like a dog? Does that make you my bitch?"

Instantly the weight was lifted off of him and he was being pushed out of the bed. He meant it as a joke but the dobe was taking it personally. "Couch or guest?"

"Fuck off." Naruto answered as he faced away from the door as Sasuke walked out and downstairs.

Just because he bottomed didn't give Sasuke the right to call him 'his bitch'. He had dignity too.

And hey, he didn't say he needed Sasuke beside him to sleep.

Just for him to come home.

* * *

><p>He could see the idiot watching him. He didn't need to glance over and check his peripheral vision; he just knew that he was being watched. And it gave him a bit of satisfaction to see Naruto being so jealous. And it was a nice card to pull out sometimes.<p>

Of course the disadvantage was that he was uncomfortable when people would flirt with him when he let it happen.

But that was the sacrifice to seeing Naruto so worked up and possessive.

The woman flirting with him, whoever she was, would ask him questions and just giggle if he said nothing. The perfume she was wearing would have smelled alright if she hadn't applied so much and wasn't gagging him at the moment. He would admit that she was pretty but not enough to fuck her. He looked down at her manicured hands, looking at her nails and being reminded of how his mother would get her nails done in the similar fashion.

And although he was actually looking at her nails, the woman had mistaken him for looking at her cleavage. She pushed his head up and cooed to him to keep his eyes on hers.

It was apparently the last straw for Naruto because he had stomped his way over to them.

And seeing the other person approaching, the woman just seemed to be automatically pushed back.

Naruto had grabbed Sasuke by his arm and pulled him away from the bar. They stepped outside the front door where he was pushed against the wall of a nearby alley.

"Fucking asshole!" Naruto yelled at him, pushing Sasuke into the brick wall. "What the fuck did you think you were doing? Letting her touch you like that!"

Sasuke said nothing, a smirk coming onto his face and he saw how rustled up his lover was. He was heaving with jealousy and it brought an erotic tingle throughout his entire body. He didn't fight it when Naruto had pressed his mouth against his for a passionate kiss. His hands touched the small of Naruto's back, pressing into the spot and pushing them harder against each other.

There was a gasp heard nearby.

Naruto was lost in the kiss but Sasuke cracked one eye open to see the woman had caught them. But she didn't stick around and left.

He pulled away from the kiss and took his lover's hand.

They both hurried to his car.

Not to get home but to get in the backseat to fuck out their emotions.

He let Naruto ride him in the backseat, chuckling on occasion when he would get too lost and bump his head up against the top of the car. He gripped tan hips, thrusting his own hips to give Naruto the scorching pleasure he wanted. The space inside the car was small and windows were getting fogged up and no doubt they were rocking the car. There were some whoops he could hear outside from people passing by.

Naruto's body, his noises, his anger, everything about him was wonderful.

Fuck, jealous car sex was the best he had so far.

But it came with a price.

After back on all their clothes and airing out the car to clear the windows, the drive back home was silent.

Sasuke glanced over when he heard Naruto sniffling.

He was crying now, just great.

He reached over to take Naruto's hand into his own. "I won't leave you." He assured him in a gentle voice.

Blue eyes looked up at him, squeezing their hands together. "You better not."

* * *

><p>Deep beneath his skin and his soul, down to his very core, Sasuke was afraid of losing Naruto. He feared that one day Naruto would realize that he was tired of the bullshit and leave him for good. He feared the day the blonde would decide he didn't love him anymore. The blonde would find someone else to fall in love with and be taken care of.<p>

Could he imagine living without Naruto?

Actually he could.

But he was sure that he would never get over him.

It was eight in the evening, the power was out, it was raining outside, and Sasuke was thinking way too much.

And it was their five year anniversary.

Three years of happy and then suddenly two years of it going to shit.

What the hell happened?

Sasuke wished he could answer that. And he knew it was desperate of him to cling to Naruto so badly and Naruto did so in return. He knew that their relationship was unhealthy but neither of them knew what to do. They only knew that they wanted to be together. He wanted the promise of them to last forever.

He needed that assurance from Naruto.

They sat in the living room with candles lit around them. The rain was pouring hard outside against the windows. Naruto sat in his lap, holding his face in his hands and his thumb gently stroking the skin under his eye. "Sorry, guess you won't be going to work for a while." He whispered. "Not with a shiner like that."

Yeah, they had a fight earlier and they beat each other up.

"And you might need a cane. Kids are going to start calling you an old man already." Sasuke joked. He had kicked Naruto hard enough in the leg to make him limp a little.

Naruto stroked his hair for a moment, a sad look in his eyes. "Do you think we're bad for each other?" he asked. "We keep doing this over and over and we still haven't learned not to do it."

Sasuke had quickly voiced his disagreement. "We're just going through a rough patch. Things will get better. We'll… just try harder."

Naruto didn't look convinced but he tilted Sasuke's head up and kissed him. "I love you." He whispered when he pulled away.

"I love you too."

They hugged each other tight, ignoring the bruises they gave each other earlier. It hurt but they would heal. And they both hoped that their relationship would as well. They believed they would last for a long time. There was no way two bodies could meld together so perfectly only for them not to be meant for each other.

* * *

><p>"Which one do you want?" Sasuke asked. He looked at Naruto, who shrugged and just looked down at the ground. "Come on choose, I'm asking you dobe."<p>

Naruto ignored the question. He didn't care about the coffee tables. He only pressed his body against the Uchiha's arm. But he lightened his hold when he saw his lover wince at the pressure he put on him. He let himself lean against his lover, his head resting on his shoulder. The guilt was evident in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Naruto muttered, "just choose whatever you want, buy it, and go home."

They stood in front of a selection of coffee tables. All of them shiny and polished for the display.

"Just… don't choose any with a glass center." Naruto added.

Sasuke took a deep inhale and exhaled out slowly. He couldn't blame Naruto for what he was feeling; it was his fault too. "It's okay." He said in an attempt to soothe his lover.

But the blonde shook his head.

Why couldn't they stop? They knew how to aggravate each other and press which buttons irritated them the most. And neither of them could learn how to _not_ do it.

They both knew it; there was something wrong with them. But still, they stuck through with each other no matter what. They felt as if their feelings were just too strong for each other. Because their feelings were so strong that there was no way that they could be torn apart. But they knew they were tearing each other apart because of their feelings.

Would they one day reach the breaking point?

Neither of them hoped they would.

They had to stop the madness somehow and soon.

But not right now.

Sasuke waved for an employee to come help them. He had chosen the right coffee table to replace their damaged one.

…

_(Two days ago…)_

Yells of frustration echoed throughout the entire house. Naruto had his arms crossed and he rolled his eyes as Sasuke glared at him. That guy was just overreacting. "I told you to take a fucking message for me! I told you I was expecting a phone call!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto glared back at his lover. "How the hell am I supposed to know which calls are important? You get three dozen a day!" he shot back. "You have a secretary to do that crap for you, not me! That's what she gets paid for! You should have told her to take the damn call!"

"I specifically asked this man to call me at home you idiot!"

"You're acting fucking hysterical!" Naruto threw up his hands and walked away. "Fucking call this man back, damn."

He walked into the living room but had his arm pulled back by an angry Sasuke. He held onto his wrist tight. "I'm not done talking to you Naruto!"

"Piss off!" Naruto shouted. He pulled Sasuke's hand off his wrist and tried to walk away again. He was surprised when he was turned around only to feel an open palm make contact with his cheek. Shock was his first reaction but rage immediately followed. With all his strength he kicked the bastard square in the stomach right onto the coffee table.

And he ran up the stairs to lock himself in the bathroom.

No doubt Sasuke would come after him in just a few moments.

He waited for stomping footsteps to climb up the stairs but he heard nothing. He waited a few more seconds but still nothing. So with caution, he unlocked the door and peaked outside with no sign of Sasuke around.

He listened carefully to see if Sasuke was still around.

It was dead silent.

Carefully Naruto walked down the stairs and he hid himself around the corner. He counted to three in his head and looked at the scene in the living room.

Then he rushed to the nearest bathroom to grab the first aid kit.

Naruto set it on the floor before picking Sasuke off of the coffee table. The center was glass and it was completely shattered thanks to him. He propped him up against the couch and gently slapped his face. "Hey! Wake up! Sasuke wake up!" he said to him. "Please wake up!"

Sasuke groaned, his eyes opening for a brief moment and then shutting. "…Naru…to…"

Naruto opened the first aid kit, taking out disinfectant and gauze, and all the while apologized. He picked out some of the small pieces of glass that stuck itself in Sasuke's skin and made sure to wash it and clean it. He just looked over at the coffee table, reminding himself that once he laid Sasuke down on the couch he would clean up the mess.

* * *

><p>The faucet was running in the bathroom, filling the sink almost to the brim with cold water.<p>

But no matter how many times Sasuke splashed water in his face, it couldn't take away the reality of what he had done last night. He had done the most nightmarish thing he could do.

He gripped his hair and cursed himself.

He lost control.

And now he was no different than any other piece of shit on the planet.

The sun was rising outside, light casting through the windows. But there was a dark atmosphere inside the house.

Sasuke walked out of the bathroom and looked over at the bed. It was a complete mess. The body on it lay still, facing away from him and covered with a blanket.

And he was glad for it. He didn't want to see what he had done. But he had to come face to face with what he did. He would beg, plead, and promise anything in the world to Naruto. So he got on the bed, the mattress dipping with the added weight and alerting the blonde. Carefully he uncovered the sheet and eyed some of the bruises on the tan body.

Not that he didn't have his own bruises from the blonde. But he threw the first punch.

Naruto had tried to curl away and he couldn't blame him. He leaned down and kissed the bruise on a tan shoulder but retreated quickly. He told himself not to beat around the bush.

He put Naruto on his back and climbed over him, putting his hands on either side of his lover's head.

Sasuke's heart raced and he felt his stomach drop seeing tear stains on his lover's face.

He knew that before Naruto could leave him for any other reason but he chose to stay. Now after last night, the blonde had the ultimate reason to leave. Maybe even call the police on him.

It's okay, he deserved it. His lover had tried to push him away, kick at him and spit in his face to make him stop.

Naruto pulled up the blanket and shielded more of his body from Sasuke's view. But he did nothing when Sasuke leaned down, letting their foreheads touch. Their eyes met each other and they both looked so sad. They were so in love with each other but they were unhealthy and a danger to each other.

They knew it would be best to be separated from another.

But they couldn't find it in each other to be apart.

They would go to heaven or hell together, whether angels or demons tried to tear them apart.

Sasuke hands shook. "I… I… I'm sorry." He said.

There, he did it.

And without breaking eye contact.

But what apology could fix what he had done? For taking his lover against his will despite his screaming and begging for him to stop?

Nothing could.

Sasuke dropped his body on Naruto, the energy suddenly drained from him. He didn't deserve the way Naruto had held him. It only increased his guilt.

And Naruto desperately wanted to tell Sasuke that he still loved him. He hated him for what he did last night, but he still loved him. But he knew saying such a thing would hurt only his lover. "We need help Sasuke." He said brokenly. "We're so fucked up."

He couldn't aruge.

He grabbed at his phone nearby and dialed a number. At the other end of line he answered, "We need help."

* * *

><p><em>This was his apology.<em>

_Moving inside Naruto, trying to make him forget the pain he just inflicted. He drank up the sounds his lover made, letting him tug on his hair or scratch his nails down his back. It was fine; he thought of it as getting even anyway._

_But even in the passionate moment, Sasuke couldn't stop thinking about the look of shock on Naruto's face earlier. It was an image he wished that he could forget. So he focused on the blonde's face, completely caught up in pleasure and calling for him._

_Calling on him to give him more._

_He let Naruto crash first, watching how he arched his back in pleasure before coming down._

_Sasuke rode out his own orgasm before he finally stopped pumping his hips. And once he caught his breath, he looked at the bruise he had left on Naruto's shoulder. He leaned down to kiss it and then kiss his blonde. He felt hands cup his face, deepening the kiss._

_They pulled apart and Naruto's hands fell from his cheeks. "I love you."_

"_I love you too." Sasuke whispered back. Then he caught him in a gentle kiss again. He was left dumbstruck when he had hit Naruto for the first time. He looked at his own hand and the disbelief in blue eyes. He didn't want to ever get carried away like that again. Or else they would be hitting each other for the rest of their lives._

_He promised he wouldn't do it again._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** this is not meant to be a romanticism of abusive/violent relationships.

*I know that the ending where Sasuke picks up a phone and calls someone _could_ seem like a continuation. But for me it was more like he finally reached out & let someone know that they needed help instead of keeping it in between just him and Naruto. At least that's how I tried to make it.


End file.
